Walk in Paradise

This week marks three years since my dad was called home to be with the Lord.

The bright spot in the middle of the week is that my nephew, my parents' first grandchild, was baptized two years ago today.

But I still miss my dad.

A few nights ago I was singing to one of my twin girls while she tried valiantly to fall asleep in my arms. Out of the blue, I started singing a Hawaiian hymn that my father used to sing to us when we were young. When I forgot the words, I simply hummed the beautiful melody, hoping my baby would find it as soothing as I did so many years ago. Inside, I was saddened to realize that I had forgotten many of the words.

The next day, as I was going through a box of my father's things, I came across a copy of the Hawaiian lyrics that he had prepared for me. What are the odds? The Lord is merciful, even in the smallest matters.

Rather than relay the written lyrics, I found this video on YouTube, where you can also read a short explanation of the song. I only remember my dad singing the second verse in English, which began, "Let me walk in Paradise with you, Lord."

And now he is walking in Paradise. His prayer has been answered.

Father's Day

This Father's Day afternoon was spent going through quite a few things that belonged to my late father. Some of that stuff has been sitting in our basement for 2 1/2 years. My husband did not force me to face all those memories before I was ready. I needed time and healing to be able to endure such a task. I was amazed that I could get rid of so much. Almost everything, in fact.

Oh sure, there are some things I won't be giving up, like the cross he wore that was made out of 5 nails to symbolize the 5 wounds of Christ on the cross; or dozens of sermon tapes that I hope to digitize and share with my family; or his library books (many of them, anyway); or the guitar he played when singing us to sleep; or his favorite pair of cowboy boots. Yes, I wanted to keep the cowboy boots. Surely anyone who knew him can understand that.

With the passage of time, the memory of my father is still vivid, and letting "things" go, I now realize, does not threaten those memories. If anything, the burden of mere "stuff" clouds the legacy of the man who is no longer here to use it, but is rather enjoying the treasures he stored up in Heaven. I miss my earthly father every day, but he is in the presence of my Heavenly Father.

And with a hope like that, I have much to be thankful for this Father's Day.

Psalm 130

Out of the depths I have cried to You, O LORD.

Lord, hear my voice!

Let Your ears be attentive

To the voice of my supplications.

If You, LORD, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand?

But there is forgiveness with You,

That You may be feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait,

And in His word do I hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

More than the watchmen for the morning;

Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the LORD;

For with the LORD there is lovingkindness,

And with Him is abundant redemption.

And He will redeem Israel

From all his iniquities.

Glory be to the Father,

and to the Son,

and to the Holy Spirit,

as it was in the beginning,

is now, and will be forever,

world without end.

Amen.

Not In Our Hands

We made it to the specialist on Monday. Overall, I'd say it went well, but certainly not as well as we'd like. My cervix is very short and beginning to open, and there are almost no options for us to do anything about it. There is a high risk for preterm labor, though not nearly as high as we'd feared (possibly in the 30% range). It's particularly scary right now since we have not reached the threshold of viability for the babies.

On the brighter side, the specialist says is is still possible that I can carry the pregnancy to term. He offered us an "experimental" hormone treatment that has shown some promise in reducing the risk of preterm birth, but is not yet approved by the FDA (...not that we think much of the federal government, anyway). There is no risk to the babies, so we decided to go ahead and try it. Beyond that, I try to rest as much as possible, and we pray constantly.

So that's where we are.

By the way...we have been calling the girls Lillian and Pearl. I think the names will probably stick. :)

Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him,

on those who hope in His steadfast love,

that He may deliver their soul from death

and keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the LORD;

He is our help and our shield.

For our heart is glad in Him,

because we trust in His holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,

even as we hope in you.

--Ps. 33:18-22

A Double Portion!

After nearly 5 years of marriage, the Lord has blessed us with twin girls, due March 2nd.

Aren't they beautiful?

Unfortunately, complications have developed, and now I'm on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. We are seeing a maternal-fetal medicine specialist on Monday.

May God be merciful to us and our children for the sake of His Son, Jesus.